Parenting

In the Meditation Group we shared a story about a man who had all materialistic things in his life, but wasn’t leading the life he wanted.  It touched a chord with one of the participants who shared that their child had been offered an amazing opportunity to work in the city with a large income.  But he had turned it down.  This Mum was so angry and disappointed with him, that she had a physical sensation in her stomach. 

I suggested that she put her hand over the area and just “accept” the sensation.  As she did this, she realised that she’d been pushing her own dreams and ambitions onto her child and whilst at university he was “ just trying to figure out how to live life". There was so much truth and conviction when he explained that he didn’t want to work a 70-hour week and even if he could afford a Porsche, there would be no time to enjoy driving it!   This realisation produced the sensation in her stomach.  As she worked on accepting it, the fluttering inside dispersed until she finally felt calm. 

 Kids of all ages are "just trying to figure out how to live life!"

 If we as parents can take this message to heart, there is really no reason to get so angry with them. It reinforced for me the importance of why I wish to reach teachers, parents and children to talk about the tools to be able to support kids as they 'figure out how to live life' without feeling bad about the mistakes they make along the way. Remember, we are products of our own environments.  Our kids, are our most precious resources. 95% of what are kids learn is in what is modelled to them.

An important suggestion is for parents and kids to spend time together, where the kids receive full attention and the adults listen more than talk. Only offer an opinion if they ask for it, and DON’T judge or criticize them.  Let them talk about whatever they want to, without interruption.

I am running a Parenting workshop on Saturday 11^th June if you or anyone you know is interested.  

My 3 wonderful kids

Feedback

Occasionally I receive negative feedback from someone and I appreciate their taking the time to write.  I must admit that receiving criticism telling me that “I would be stupid and blind to not realise that something was wrong with ……….” was a little shocking, but of the many who may be open to the therapy I practise, there are bound to be a few people who do not like something and who will voice their displeasure.

That said, the negative comments about my attitude I received from someone were a little surprising, especially since she was a friend of my client not a family member, who informed me that the client “has never been interested in spirituality other than when she is high…”  She went on to explain that far from being “spiritual” the client had become rude, aggressive and self obsessed”.

The client had been labelled with the condition of bipolar. What the friend was “perceiving” were the visable signs of an imbalance in her friend’s behaviour.

As a facilitator of Spiritual Response Therapy, I was able to research what the core issues were, which caused these behaviours to rise to the surface.  Yet the therapy cannot interfere with the “learning curve” of an experience in someone’s life.  So the process was unable to prevent a down turn where the client had to return to hospital for a while.  

The writer criticized me saying “I have lived through her condition now since she first got a low and gave up her job, to being high… you have not!

As a therapist, I don’t need to have experienced my client’s problems for me to research and clear the negative energies and blocks that are causing their difficulties.  My intention is not to “encourage client’s to become spiritual” but to have an understanding that our experiences are for our learning and growth on a soul level, not as punishment from a higher source, as some may believe.

Everyone is divine, we all have the same source connection and we are all connected to each other. But each of us expresses the balance of human and divine in different ways. Seeing someone as divine and ignoring what their human aspect is doing is, to be honest, just silly. And those who insist that the world is full of sweetness and light and everything else can be ignored are not living in reality.

As a healer, we see people in their highest light and we give them the gift of unconditional love and acceptance and that is a wonderful gift. But whether they take the gift and use it to change who they are or how they behave is another thing. And we have to be realistic.

I was frustrated as a therapist that the therapy had not been able to clear the condition completely, but as another colleague told me, it had not been possible to remove this experience completely because on a soul level, the client had to experience it.  So it wasn’t my lack of expertise.  I had done everything possible in the client’s best interest.

In these interesting and transformational times, we can be overwhelmed by what is happening in our lives but there are always other solutions. Here are a few things to help you get through the difficult moments in your life:

  

Stay calm, focused, detached and aware and remember your thoughts are creating every moment of your life. Think the best ones. 

Fitness

Keeping fit isn’t gym’ll-fix-it, ipod-tethered (I don’t own one!), shoulder to shoulder with fellow cardio pounders.

I don’t enjoy using a cross-trainer in the gym with my heart pounding out of my chest and my lungs about to burst; my thighs shuddering and sweaty dripping armpits.  Five minutes is more like 500 years.

Give me the open air any time and walks through the park or to the shops or station, even if the February winds are blowing my hair askew.  The sound of birdsong, the hum of traffic, the signs of the first crocus’ appearing; the daffodils pushing their way out and signs of Spring, bring a feeling of new beginnings at the beauty that will reveal itself.  Birds building nests in the trees, all signs of re-birth.  Not something you see in the gym!

I know pilates improves core strength; and yoga brings balance (have to ask my son to return my yoga dvd!).  But you can’t beat a daily walk for free, simple, immediate physical and mental toning. 

I have a large Yorkshire terrier who certainly keeps me on my toes.  He barks as soon as I put my boots on and “nags” me for a walk, whatever the weather. We vary our walks, from beautiful scenery in the forest to visiting the post office. Other walkers are very friendly and a smile always makes a difference.

Gyms are expensive and energy-intensive.  Why pay when you can exercise for free?  A bonus is picking the blackberries whilst you’re out, to make jam when you go home!

TIME FOR RETREAT

For the last few years it has been a privalege to take groups away on "retreat".  It's been mainly women who have been attracted to "work on themselves" and gain greater understanding of life and their own power to create what they wish.  There have been a couple of men who have attended and their testimonials of a "life changing experience" was phenomonal, so I hope that more men will attend and be open to helping themselves.

Many people look at me with a vacant stare and aren't truly aware of what a retreat is.  I would answer that a "retreat" is an opportunity to leave behind television, computers and stress to return back to a simple time, of nature, silence, and going within to reach peace. The person who panics about not being able to use their "mobile phone" is the person who needs the experience the most!

  

So who comes on "retreat"?  Typically they have been people with pressurised lives, in need of rejuvenation and access to renewed well-being. Most often people come on their own, so they can indulge in some private time, although we also have had friends and siblings.  The majority are 25-55. As many as 40% continue to attend each year’s retreat.

Reasons cited for attending are - executive stress, burn-out, overcoming relationship or career splits, illness, addiction, or bereavement. Of course a holiday environment is also part of the story and workshops and activities enhance the enjoyment of a holiday.

The retreat I'm organising this year will be at Gearrannan Blackhouse Village (picture above).  It's a coastal crofting village situated in a secluded bay within the district of Carloway on the west coast of Eilean Leòdhais in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland. The restored Village allows you to have the opportunity to experience traditional rural activities, learn about the rich history of the area, work, relax and socialise in a unique atmosphere

The area has beautiful walks.  A mile or so beyond Dalbeg is a beautifully restored water-mill.  Between Gearrannan and Dalbeg is the village of Dalmore. The beaches at Dalmore and Dalbeg are two of the most beautiful in the Island.

There is a walk to the Laimishader lighthouse which is on a headland at the mouth of Loch Carloway.  Dun-Carloway Broch, an Iron Age dwelling, is within walking distance of Gearrannan, and the famous pre-historic Callanish Standing Stones are only six miles away. 

I will run 2 half-day workshops on Sunday & Monday for self-enlightenment. There will also be silent meditation walks allow time for contemplation and ‘time alone’ gives you space away from the group.  This retreat offers something for everyone.

In the media recently, it has been stated that there is a groundswell of people realising that dissatisfaction and dis-ease in life is largely of our own making and that simple fundamental changes, from within, can utterly transform health, wealth, happiness and general fulfillment. They know that the decisions they want to take are aided by a supportive healthy environment, away from the daily routine.

There is a common denominator of a belief that change can transform life if there is a commitment to invite it. Such a commitment is by enrolling in a life change retreat.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Heather