ANGER

A man had a problem recently who is going through a divorce and he was feeling angry with his wife for having an affair after twenty five years of marriage. As I listened to this man, who I’ll call Jason, I explained how sorry I felt that his wife had cheated and lied to him but I asked him honestly if he would take her back if she wished for a reconciliation.

I knew that the answer would be ‘no’. Because in all of those twenty five years, he was the one who held the marriage together, who tried to create the partnership he wanted and he did his best to hold that energy for her so he could have the relationship that served his needs. He thought that if he met her needs and let her know how much she was loved and appreciated, she would become the wife he wanted her to be.

The anger he was now aware of was because he was just beginning to realize that she didn’t appreciate his efforts and he was thinking that he’d wasted twenty five years of his life. But I assured him that he hadn’t wasted anything,  as her response was the best she could give him and he was going to have to accept that and see her that way. His anger was keeping the energetic connection between them open and he was letting her ‘suck’ on his energy, in the same way she did during their marriage.

When we give to others without considering whether our own needs are being met, we let them suck our own energy at will, because we don’t have any boundaries. It’s like cooking dinner and not setting a dinner time. So the food is on the table and everyone thinks they can eat whenever they want to; then you get mad because you are always eating alone. You get angry because you think they’re being inconsiderate, but you’re also afraid to set the boundaries because you are afraid that if you push too hard or demand too much they will say no. And in your heart you know that this is true, if you ask a needy, demanding person for too much, they will just say ‘no’ and walk away.

People like this are very needy and while they can take, they don’t think they have anything to give. The more you give, the more than can take at will, sucking your energy when they’re hungry or bored or tired or needy, and then leaving you drained. As soon as you ask someone like this to give back to you they feel challenged and they often leave.

Jason’s anger was allowing his wife to suck at his energy, at will, to continue to demand certain things from him and take what she wants.  Since he is  separated, but still living in the family home, she is still aiming to rule the roost but continuing to do whatever she wants.

Jason was feeling drained because anger is a powerful emotion and holding that energy is a challenge. It also prevents someone from moving forward because their energy is still tied into trying to get what they want from the marriage, which needs to be over.

So it is vital to close those connections and set some boundaries for his energy so he can stop allowing the energy suction and focus his energy on what he wants and needs, which is to let this part of his life be over and move forward into a life that serves him, with his new partner who can meet his needs.

To clear "blocks" or "negative energies" causing problems in your life, contact me for Spiritual Response Therapy clearing.