LOVE

Love

Love is an energy.  Many of us have been experiencing the ending of relationships in 2011 allowing old or negative  love patterns to die so new ones can take their place. We can do this when we remember that love, like a flower, is an energy and it follows a cycle of death and rebirth.

In autumn trees and flowers lose their leaves and die back so they can re-generate in the spring. It’s all part of natures natural cycle. Love follows the same kind of cycle. Old patterns of love and loving, such as the ones that are needy, demanding, or controlling, cannot co-exist with new, higher vibrations of unconditional love that expand love into acceptance, self control, worthiness and value. So in order to make room for this shift in love, we enter into a love cycle.

To begin the cycle, we recognise the old love pattern for what it truly is. Then we have to release what is not positive for us. As we let go of what’s not working, we create an energetic space for the new pattern, thereby releasing the old person or situation and a new one enters our energetic space, at the new and higher vibration. But what often happens is we try to make the old pattern fit the new paradigm and we try to hold on to the familiar relationship even though we know it doesn’t “feel” right as we’re trying to make the past fit into the present moment.

That energy can transform but only when there is something for it to transform into, and it is willing to do that. This is an either/or possibility, either the old love pattern will shift into a new vibration or a new love will present itself to us, in response to our intention for love. But we have to be willing to allow the shift to happen, be open to a new love energy that matches our intention and know that our intention always manifests, in one way or another. Fear that there's something deeply wrong with us is what keeps so many of us women from attracting and connecting to a good man who will love us - forever. You ARE capable - you're more than capable. You CAN have a relationship that meets and exceeds your wildest expectations.

So if you are wishing for new love to enter your life, set an intention for new love, allow the love cycle play itself out and know that when one love pattern ends, it is a brilliant opening for new unconditional love to manifest in your life. Isn't it beautiful that your heart is the biggest muscle in your body?

Me in Glastonbury

INTIMACY ANOREXIA

As a therapist that likes to investigate the root cause of someone’s problem, I wished to fully understand what had gone so wrong during my marriage. 

During my break to the French Alps, my friend was reading a magazine and showed me an article which described in depth about how she behaved in her relationship.  The behaviour was labelled as “Intimacy anorexic” and as I read it, I was gob-smacked!  It described exactly my x spouse’s behaviour!

Intimacy anorexics withhold, withdraw and push away to stay disconnected.  This is a soul in pain.  Whatever the reason, the addiction to withholding from their spouse is real, powerful and cunning, like all other addictions. They use criticism, humiliation and anger to push people away.

It is the inner core that identifies us as being separate from another person.  This is what has been affected as we look at a intimacy anorexia.  This is the part that feels disconnected, alone, confused and isolated when needs are not being met.  It is this part of us that allows us to admit something very important.  It didn’t “just happen”.  It took time, energy, process and choices.  It took a while and then eventually, it was made.  Someone’s life didn’t become overwhelming or devastated instantly, but over a period of time.

An Intimacy anorexic feels a mess.  Many areas of their lives become unmanageable, unconnected, uncontrollable and unpredictable.  Their lives become empty and hollow in many respects. 

Intimacy anorexics can get down, feel hopeless or worthless, experience severe shame and guilt from past traumas or present circumstances and resort to sad behaviours of destruction, isolation and withholding from their spouse. 

Intimacy anorexics have for so long been robbed of spirituality, intimacy, trust and even their own reality.

To help themselves, they need to recognise that they have a problem with intimacy.  Spiritual Response Therapy can clear “programs” they are running, like programs you download onto your hard-drive.  The therapy also clears “negative energy” and “blocks”.  This can be followed by a 12-step program to recovery, similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. 

If this sounds like you or someone you know, contact me.

FRENCH ALPS

I have just experienced a beautiful trip to the French Alps.  I was invited to stay in a chalet which is a fantastic location for a retreat. 

Meditation in such a location is a truly wonderful experience.  Connecting to the powerful and healing energies of Mother Nature, whilst walking through the mountain paths and feeling the refreshing energies of the mountains is breath-taking. 

As we sat in a pod taking us up the mountain to Meribel, we gazed at the forest of pine trees below and the streams that had huge shapes of ice cubes in them.  That too was a meditation of beauty.

In Meribel we watched the people ski down the pistes and the snow boarders glide towards us, as we sipped our “Vin Chaud” (hot wine).  Amazing!

The whole trip was a healing and empowering experience of sun, blue sky, forests, lakes and rivers.  We came home uplifted and cleansed by walks in the mountains, invigorated and purified by the mountain air, charmed and relaxed by the beauty around us.

It certainly gave us a feeling of joy that lifted us above our daily challenges. To let go of the fears and anxieties that hold us back in life and to allow ourselves time to laugh. We were inspired by many ideas of what we could offer as a retreat subject in this healing location.  We’d love everyone to let go of stress and discord and to be in harmony. To feel balanced, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically.  To feel happy and complete, as harmony and balance improve well-being and health.

We’d like to share that with you.  You are invited to a “Just Feel Great” weekend! Friday 28^th , Saturday 29^th, Sunday 30^th September & Monday 1^st October.

Women are from Venus

Lots of us women tirelessly analyze our relationship over and over - often creating more negative emotional distance through the fear and anxiety we experience. We mull over and over…

"What does it mean since he did ……….. whatever behaviour it was……."

How many times have we spent hours or days thinking about talking about exactly what it is we need to say or do with a man to fix or change things?

The truth is, the answer often isn't in our head and isn't available from the level of awareness and consciousness we have at the time.  A relationship is a process, just as change, awareness and growth are all processes. 

Many of us make the common mistake of trying to logically convince our men through our words that he should think or feel differently.  That's not how men work emotionally.

The key is to stop doing all the things that get in the way of the connection and attraction that is there but has drifted away.  Open, honest, "real" relationships still have lots of challenges, doubts, "phases" and fears in them.  In fact, in a way, they have more challenges because both people are truly open and honest about who they are and what they're feeling.

Perhaps you panic, creating more emotional uncertainty, and negative disconnected feelings?

Or maybe you’re calm, confident, and assured in a way that lets a man know things aren't going to be difficult and tiresome with you in the future?

Feelings and emotions can change almost instantly.

Instead of trying to convince him or argue with him about how he should think and act in your relationship... it is wiser to make him feel physically and emotionally drawn to you as a woman and as a partner. So tell him how you feel.  By doing this you will allow him to feel so comfortable that he will open up and tell you how he feels too. The reality is that ALL men have their own set of fears about being truly close to a woman - as much as they ALSO want to love and be loved...

To clear "blocks" or "negativity" in your relationship or your future relationship, book a Spiritual Response Therapy clearing with me.

love and happiness

Heather

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