PROCRASTINATION

Do we get anything out of procrastination?

Procrastination is a problem, but it’s also just a symptom of a deeper problem of our core beliefs. Specifically, the core beliefs we have about our identity. Solve the problem of false beliefs about your identity and procrastination dynamics go away on their own, where we don’t take action.  For example, the procrastinator may not return phone calls from friends and acquaintances to the detriment of their social life. They may fail to initiate important tasks or delay their completion on the job thereby undermining vocational stability

Many of us let our busy ego mind that is in self preservation mode make our decisions for us. It directs us to forget about what we committed to, distract us from it long enough for us to believe we failed. Then it projects thoughts like, “I still haven’t done that, what’s the matter with me. I can’t just seem to get things done.” In each of those mental stories it projects us as the main character in a failure role. This is a path of good intentions leading to emotional hell.

A client this week identified himself with a middle-name of “procrastinator”.  He was aiming to make light of something he didn’t know how to deal with.

With research using Spiritual Response therapy, I discovered he identified himself in Self preservation mode.  He believed his purpose in the family unit had to remain as it always had.  The love he had for his family identified to him his total involvement and enthusiasm to be the best provider and carer; yet his marriage had crumbled and no amount of glue (love) could stick it back together and therefore the dynamics of the family had shifted, yet he was stuck.

·         Emotional reasoning: An individual may tell themselves something like, "I can only do something if I like it or if I am in the mood" or "Tasks should be easy."

·         Magnification: A person may tell themselves that a task is more difficult and complicated that it really is.

·         Perfectionism: A person may set goals that are set unrealistically high and demand they attain them.

·         Mind reading: A person may think others will label them as "failures" if a task is not done according to a certain (many times unrealistic) standard. They may also label themselves as "failures." If a task is delayed or not done however, the failure label will not apply.

·         Comfortable discomfort: A person may be unhappy that a task is not completed but the discomfort that he feels is more comfortable than the fear and apprehension of taking on something new.

·         Devaluation or minimization: A person may minimize the importance of a task they think about starting and thus de-motivate themselves to take the first step.

·         Should statements: A person tells themselves they "should, must, or ought" to do a task and respond with guilt when they observe their inaction.

·         Coercion reaction: A person may not want others to tell him what he should be doing and feels resentful when they do. Even in situations in which the person wants the same outcome, he will react in oppositional ways in order to maintain the feeling that he controls his life.

·         Aversion perception: A person may simply dislike doing certain tasks. He may find them distasteful and thus experience them as punishing.

The best advice I could suggest is that the solution is to just envision what we want and take action.

And if for some reasons our actions don’t attain our goals, (even David Beckham missed game winning shots) then we don’t fall into self judgment.

It’s important to understand that humility doesn’t mean meek. Humble people can actually be very powerful. We don’t usually notice their power because they tend to be quiet and listen more than they talk. Their power takes the form of quiet resolve. They don’t expend their energy trying to get attention or having debates in their mind convincing themselves. Since they don’t waste energy on these dynamics they have a lot more power to apply to what they really want.

Two opposing false images of the ego happen each time we make a commitment of “I’m going to stop Procrastinating.” Can you see that this statement causes us to identify with a false image in a mental movie taking place in the future? Can you see that this is a set up for believing that we are that failure image later?

The good intentions might not seem like a big deal by itself, but it sets up the other half of the ego. The failure to execute by putting things off and that leads to self judgment, self rejection, and feelings of unworthiness and failure.

You can make commitments to change. When the commitment arises from a genuine desire to be happy we are filled with a quiet intent filled resolve. From your resolve will be action.

To successfully make these changes to procrastination we really have to look at the source of the problem and not just the symptoms. At the core of the problem are the false self images that we believe are us.

Stop your emotional reactions
* Control the thoughts in your mind
* Identify and change core beliefs behind your thoughts and emotions
* Shift your point of view to see your self and others differently
* Dissolve the voice in your head that is critical of your self and others
* Develop respect for your self and for other people
* Gain control over your attention so you can focus on creating love and happiness in your life, and in your relationships

 

For a Spiritual Response Therapy to identify and change core beliefs behind your thoughts and emotions, contact me.  It can be done face to face or via email for anyone, living anywhere. 

heather@heatherprince.co.uk