A bestselling book "Women who love too much" by Robin Norwood says........................
"When being in love means being in pain we’re loving too much. When most of our chats with close friends are about him, his problems, his thoughts, his feelings – and nearly all our sentences being with “he….” we’re loving too much.
"When being in love means being in pain we’re loving too much. When most of our chats with close friends are about him, his problems, his thoughts, his feelings – and nearly all our sentences being with “he….” we’re loving too much.
When we excuse his moodiness, bad temper, indifference or put-downs as problems due to his childhood and we try to become his therapist, we’re loving too much.
When we read a self-help book and underline all the passages we think would help him, we’re loving too much."
So, why is it so challenging and difficult to end these unhealthy relationships? So many women are looking for someone to love them and loving too much becomes an addiction to a partner who is uncaring or unavailable.
I am one of those women. Therefore my decision has been reached that the separation from my man will now be permanent. As I walk around the local supermarket and look at the biscuits that were his favourite (he’d eat the whole pack with his tea!), the sweets we’d share when watching a good drama or the jar of piccalilli that I had to keep a stock of, I walk on by and a part of me wants to sob. Yet the other part stands firm that the decision is in my best interest.
I’m sure many people have experienced this dual feeling I speak of. A part of you feels fearful with worry but another part refuses to go there and dwell in it.
Suddenly all the pieces that fit together no longer do for a time. The ground I walk that was so familiar no longer is and for a short time there is doubt and confusion. I am doing my best to no longer react to this feeling, because experience tells me it is reorganization and will pass in a short time and when it does I will see everything from a clearer point of view, with greater insight and understanding.
In times like this, I understand that it’s best to become an 'observer' of what is happening around me and within me. I know it is not the world changing, but I who am changing. The best “help” I can give this change is not to stop it, but just be the silent observer in wakefulness. I know that in a short time all the pieces of the puzzle will come back together in a new and improved form and I will see everything from a new viewing point!
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